I have been recently reading this blog (http://rglongpre.ca/jungianlens/#sthash.PcadxNvH.dpbs) I am in awe because there is so much truth. Robert, the writer, is completely true to himself and to his readers, no shame, no hidden agenda, no acting upon outside expectations. Its just him! Raw, vulnerable, humble, human. And I wonder, am I like that? And of course I already know: “No, I can do better. I can open myself more, I can share my humanness more, I can be more vulnerable. And that’s OK. I am not perfect. I am human.”
Truthfulness is one of the Yamas in the Yoga philosophy that I have embraced. Being true to others and to yourself is fierce courage! For most part of my life, I did not listen to my true self. My studies, my career, my life were based on someone else expectations and my own expectations from not knowing who I really was. I was afraid to take responsibility and live my own life. Until one day, I realized that if I don’t start having an honest conversation with myself, I would fall into a big black hole. No good! I told myself. So, I quit my office job, start psychoanalysis, and dedicate more time and energy to yoga and to my family. Truthfulness in thoughts, words, and actions. But most importantly, truthfulness in my heart.
Being untrue cultivated a lot of anger and resentment that accumulated over the years. Anger with people in my life and with myself. Sometimes, I can smell the deep seated drop of anger surfacing when someone (or me) has certain expectations that my heart doesn’t agree with. “Shoulds” and “Should nots” are not my best friends unless they come from my heart. It just does not feel good. There is friction. Uneasiness. My body and my mind do not like that and they certainly make sure they are heard (maybe a headache, backache, etc.)
When we start being more true to ourselves, we start seeing more clearly our reality. And clarity engenders decisions that feel good from within which make a more peaceful and healthy life. It feels right. Truth is healing energy. When we are true to our deepest self, our wounds, our heart, our soul heal.
“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.” Pema Chodron.