I watched the documentary “Raw Faith” (http://www.marilynsewell.com/raw-faith-film/) few months back and been wanting to write a post on it. So here I am!
This movie inspired me deeply (if you don’t know what I am talking about, go ahead and watch it!!)…First, I felt very much identified with Marilyn. She pours her heart into helping others as a spiritual director, and I am like that. That is my calling as I have started a two year Spiritual Direction program to become a spiritual companion (I don’t really like the “director” denomination, that’s why I prefer to call myself “companion”). Second, her vulnerability, her openness, her honesty just blew me away. One thing is to be fully honest with yourself or your therapist, another thing is to be completely open with all the world that will watch your movie. Oh my…And third, her movie touched upon a subject that I have been wanting to write but did not find the open door, until I watched the documentary. It’s about sacrifice, about letting go of the known, or the old, to make space for the new.
Carl Jung believed that what prevents people from becoming more fulfilled and whole is the fear to open ourselves to the new, the fear to loose something, wether is our inflated or deflated ego (We like to be a victim or a super power!, don’t we?), our safety (I like my checking account…), our belief system (I know my God), our daily lives (I love my comfy bed). How can an artist create a piece of art without a sacrifice? How can we move forward in our spiritual journey if we are not open to loose something? and expect things to remain the same? How can we make space for new energy when we are confined to the old one?
Marilyn Sewell was very brave (to say the least) to listen to her heart and inner wisdom, not without pain and lots of hardship. She had the courage to move away from the church where she had been the minister for the last 17 years. She took a leap of faith into the unknown, she completely opened herself to the experience of the present moment. She accepted her loss as a stepping stone on her path.
As I think about my journey, every step that I took there has been a sacrifice involved. I don’t see them in this light anymore, because loosing what I had brought me so much more that it was definitely worthwhile! But at that time, it seemed a gigantic loss. When I moved to Memphis, I had to leave my parental safe house behind. When I left FedEx, I had to renunciate to my own income. When I started psychoanalysis, I had to let go of my unconscious desire to remain a victim of my own fate. And recently, I am letting go of my pain, (the familiar, the known), in order to savor the unknown, the mystery of my own soul, the depth of the human condition.