I have struggled with these questions my whole life, trying to find meaning, an answer, a light…”What is my geographical home?” “What is my spiritual home”?” “What is my HOME?”
I am from Romania, and when I was 9 years old my family emigrated to Argentina (after spending some time in Austria and Switzerland). Since this was not enough, I studied in France, worked in Spain, and finally moved to US for my MBA. When people ask me where I am from, I have my little speech but it’s never clean cut. For a long time I envied people that could easily answer that question. Most people can do that in a breath. I can’t. And when I answer it, it is always with some tragic element to it.
Also, I was not brought up in any religion; God was not part of my life for a long time. I searched and searched for a religion that I would feel comfortable in. I needed a community, (and I still need one). Again, I envied people that can say “I am Christian”, “I am Buddhist”. I am none, and I am all. Living in the Bible Belt is not easy, but I can manage to find my own truth, slowly…
I am starting to see some light, some meaning to my search, a different perspective. I accept the fact that I will never be able to say “I am from (a country)…” or “I am (a religion)”… That ain’t happening. I can’t change my past. But I can change how I view it and I can decide where I am headed.
My search for belonging is deep into my core and my pain is even deeper. But I am starting to see the freedom of not belonging anywhere, the beauty of it. Home is where my heart is and where my family is. I can live in any country because I don’t belong to any. I can adapt myself anywhere, because I am from nowhere. Below the surface of cultures, we are all the same. And I can choose. Now I am in US, but who knows where I am going to be later on in life…I can also decide my religion, because I am not attached to any, I have no obligations or guilt. I doubt I will ever be of any religion (never say never!) because to me religions are like languages, they all speak the same truth, just in different ways. Religions are structures of faith. Do I need that for my spirituality?
I recently bought this book “A religion of One’s Own” by Thomas Moore. I am looking forward to reading it. So there is hope for people like me! Nomads of the world…I have been lost for a long time, but I am on my way to find peace and stillness within my heart, building the structure of my inner home, my soul.
“Spirituality does not come from religion, it comes from our soul” Anthony Douglas Williams, Inside the Divine Pattern