Some people live from their heads, while some foolish people, like me, live from their hearts. Left brainers are the majority, while right brainers, are the crazy ones! I am laughing, but actually, I am not…using our right brain is a forgotten skill unfortunately…
The openness of my heart is a gift and a curse. I know. As a kid, that openness created lots of wounds and traumas that only as an adult I was able to process and understand. I would either have my heart open and beaten up, or my heart would close down and cry in despair. I had no clue how to regulate the inflow and outflow of energy, of love, of pain, from my heart.
As an adult, I sometimes feel that same struggle as a kid, specially with the people that I most love. I think that will always be my inner work, to be honest with you…But hopefully I am learning to “navigate the waves rather than sink”, as my therapist said recently.
Pain is the indicator for me. When my heart closes too much, I feel pain; when my heart opens too much, I feel pain (Vulnerability is painful but necessary sometimes). Suffering is part of life, as Buddha said. But how do we learn to dance with it? We don’t want to hold on to pain, and we don’t want to escape from pain? So where is the happy middle?
I don’t know…But what I know is that being aware of that is my first step towards healing. What I know is that healing is an on going journey. What I know is “Letting things in, feeling their
impact, and, in turn, letting things out, expressing cleanly what we feel, is a spiritual practice that rinses the mind and heart.” Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening.
Thank you Mark!