Light and darkness

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(Full moon January 21 2019, picture taken at the Wassenaar beach)

Yoga has been such a blessing for me, my light, but at the same time, it has been one of my biggest lessons in life, my darkness.

When I started yoga back in 2000, my body was yearning to move and extend after long hours of meditation and sitting in an office chair. I soaked in it like a sponge, immersing myself in my daily practice of 3 hours (1,5 in the morning and another round in the evening) and my twice a week classes at the only Yoga studio in Memphis TN. I started there with the Iyengar style of Yoga,…aiming for perfection and precision. Practicing and teaching this style of Yoga gave me a very strong foundation on poses alignment and their anatomy, the ability to stay 10 minutes in headstand, and the willingness to conquer the impossible. But my kids came a few years later and all came to a temporary halt.

In 2008 I did the only teacher training certification that came into town, where I discovered the lightness of flowing from pose to pose, and the energy moving through your body. I decided to continue with that style, but make it my own, AlmaYoga.

In 2009, after quitting my corporate job, I was so ready to do full time what I loved that I plunged myself into teaching and practicing for long hours. I was alive again! I could not imagine doing another exercise other than Yoga, and Yoga became my life. What I did not realise was that Yoga was covering something really deep inside me that needed healing: my body. I prided myself teaching my students how to listen inside, but I failed to do it for me (and the irony is that I thought I did!). No, I did not truly…and when we don’t listen to what we need and we don’t put ourselves first, after a while, we collapse…

Moving to Belgium has been such a gift for me because I consciously decided to stop for a while and focus on me and my health. With some amazing professionals and Yoga teachers, I learnt to reconnect with my inner body in a very gentle and loving way, practicing non violence and compassion. It is very hard to move away from a core conditioning of “You have to be perfect” to a belief system of “You are loved just the way you are, perfection does not exist anyway.” So my practice nowadays is just what I need…meditation, Pranayama, gentle stretching, and an acceptance that I will probably never stand in my head. :)) In the end, does it really matter?

Love always, Namaste!

 

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